She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
