Swine flu. Run for my life!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
