There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
