did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
