idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
