the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize