I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
