In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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