im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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