Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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