is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
