Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
