Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
