Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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