Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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