So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
