Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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