sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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