Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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