She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
