i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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