I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
