Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
