Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
