Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
