is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
