he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
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I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
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Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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