Where is the hickey?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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