she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
