i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
