Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
