Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
