My nipple is on Facebook.
Can Purell be used as lube?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
