i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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