Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
