i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
