i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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