dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
