I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
