the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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