I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize