My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
