another moral hangover. fuck.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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