I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
