You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize