He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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