hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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