Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
