im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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