3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
