it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
