I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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