She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
