I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
