I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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