I can tuck mytits in my pants
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Alive.
So much puke
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
