long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
