You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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