he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
