Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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