im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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