I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
